Saturday, March 6, 2010

Let's talk about hormones...

I think it is to be expected that your hormones are all over the place during pregnancy. Most women will tell you this, and you expect to be hormonal. For some reason, I feel like my hormones are all kinds of out of whack lately. I feel like I am going crazy on a daily basis, and that I could have a nervous breakdown at any moment (which I did TWICE last week!)

My job has been very stressful lately, which is NOT helping matters. I work at an "Assisted Living" facility. I put it in quotations because it is turning into more of a nursing home. There are over 100 residents, 29 of which have some form of dementia/alzheimer's disease. I am the only nurse on the floor during my shifts. This means anything that goes wrong whether it be an illness, someone fell, or god forbid an emergency, I am THE ONLY NURSE there to handle it all. Yes, I knew this from the beginning, and before I got pregnant I could handle it pretty well. It seems as though things have been changing lately with the amount of residents that are moving in that I really don't feel are appropriate for our facility, but that decision is not mine to make. The #1 reason I like my job is because I work three days, 12 1/2 hour shifts and then I have 4 days off a week. This seems perfect for when Ethan is born. I work Sunday, Monday, Tuesday so I will only need child care for 2 of those days.

I like the people I work with (for the most part) and I hate starting over so I really don't want to leave. Not to mention the fact that it would be impossible for me to find a new job right now anyways seeing as I am with child and he will be here in about 15 weeks (holy crap!). I just keep hoping and praying things calm down so that I am not feeling this much stress every time I go to work, because being stuck in a stress filled place for 12 hours is not fun! I will just have to wait and see how it turns out and how I feel about returning there once Ethan is born. I want to do what is best for me, but also for him. I want him to have a happy mom at the end of the day!

This is going to be an extremely long post, so if you have read this far you are doing great! :) Back to the pregnancy hormones. The past few weeks I have had numerous crying episodes for no apparent reason. Today I feel like crying because I can't figure out how to move my husband's desk into our living room and still have room for all of our furniture. Silly, right? I just want everything to be PERFECT, and I am too much of a control freak. I realize not everything will be perfect, and Ethan won't know the difference anyway, but I will. I need to learn to calm down and let things happen the way they will, but I just don't see that happening anytime soon! I am praying daily for peace in my life, and I know God will help me through whatever I need. God bless my husband for putting up with my crazy, hormonal self! Only 15 more weeks right? ;)

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