It's not good.

It took all day, but I finally got my beta results. To begin with, they are low for where I am supposed to be at (6w1d). Saturday's result was 289, today's result was 257. It went down =( The nurse said it isn't good, I will probably miscarry. I have to go in for an ultrasound in the morning just to check and see if there is a baby there. This is SO HARD! I started crying on the phone with the nurse first. Then I had to call my boss and tell her I needed someone to cover tomorrow morning, and I was bawling on the phone. I finally called my mom and I just completely lost it. She feels horrible because she is 2,700 miles away and can't be with me. I don't think I have cried as hard as I did today since my dad died. I know there isn't really a comparison, but I really may be losing my first baby =( Chris was pretty quiet when I told him and all he could say was "It will all be okay. We will try again and it will be okay" I don't think he knew what to tell me over the phone to make me feel better. I can't wait until he gets home from work. He is trying to get ahold of his boss so he can come with me to the appointment tomorrow morning. I really hope he can come with me, I don't want to go alone.

So, the spotting has turned to a darker red. It looks like it does when I first start my period. I am also cramping off and on, but mainly having pain in my lower back (which I always did during my period). I am trying to have a little bit of hope that there will be something there tomorrow on the ultrasound, but I'm need to accept the fact that there probably isn't. What a crappy day!! I'll update tomorrow when I know more.